For Realsies This Time!

So I'm off on another diet and fitness adventure. This time it's The FIRM (using the, ehem, TransFIRMer). I am not really doing Weight Watchers this time because I basically don't feel like it. Last time I did it I got frustrated and I didn't feel good. I'm following the workout calendar that came with the FIRM system which is basically 3 days a week for the first 2 weeks, then 4 days a week the 3rd week. I'll have to check the website for the weeks after that. I deperately want to get in better shape and I'm hoping this is the system for me. I like that I can do it at home when it's convenient for me and that it only takes 40-55 minutes to do the whole thing. Cardio and weight training all in one shot. I also like that it targets the lower body a lot but also definitely hits my other areas- abs and arms. The box says, "Visible results guaranteed in 10 workouts!" so I'm going to try it and see. I want to be able to look forward to, and enjoy shopping for and wearing clothes- not dread it like I do now. So here I go; here's shooting for wearing shorts and a bathing suit this summer!

Current weight: 147.5 Goal weight: 125 Pounds to lose: 22.5

Week Three

Okay, I'm going to be honest. I didn't even weigh myself today because I don't want to know. I did really well all week and was on track to (I think) lose about a pound and a half or two pounds. Then we decided to go as a family to Bodega Bay on Saturday and I had clam chowder and fish and chips for lunch and that was it. For some reason it clicked something bad in my brain. The rest of Friday and all day Saturday and Sunday I was off the wagon and eating pretty much whatever I want and I didn't go to the gym on Thursday. I really don't want to know what my weight did because of my weekend of indulgance- I know it didn't go down!

I really need to re-focus and get back on track. I'm just feeling a little bit depressed and hopeless because I look at myself in the mirror and I hate what I see and I want to be thinner so bad and I feel like it's just not going to happen. I'm scared that I won't be able to have the discipline to stick to my diet and exercise and that I won't lose the weight. That depresses me because I really, really don't want to stay looking the way that I do!

I think part of the frustration is that I feel like if I even eat one extra thing, that I gain weight. I feel like I should be able to eat normal food in small portions and maintain or lose weight. I used only half of my FlexPoints at the end of last week and it made me gain back a pound- even though most of the week I didn't even use up my minimum daily allotment of points! That tells me that I have to restrict my calories to about 20-25 points a week and that I cannot ever use any of my FlexPoints or my weight loss halts for a few days. That is kind of frustrating to have to be so restrictive! It makes me wonder how I'm going to maintain my weight if I have to restrict my calories so much. I wonder how I'm going to maintain eating such small portions of (fat free!) food permanently to maintain my weight. It just doesn't seem right to me!

The other thing that kind of made me feel...ugghhh... about my little fit club thing is that after working out four days straight my body was exhausted and when I tried to do a home exercise video on Friday I literally couldn't lift my leg for even the warmup! I felt so tired and sore and my body needed a break to recoup from all the working out. But then the gym is closed on the weekend so it's three days straight of no workouts and that also contributes to the Friday-Sunday slump in my diet every week. Working out so much and dieting makes me feel really tired and weak and I thought it would make me feel energized and strong. It just doesn't seem right. I feel like I must be doing something wrong.

I don't know, I guess I'm just venting. I need to just get back to doing what I was doing and plug away. I still have 15 pounds to lose so I might as well get used to not eating. sigh...

Week Two

So I've completed the first of five weeks of my new diet and exercise regime. My weight is now 141 pounds. I lost three pounds this first week, which I'm very happy about. My goal for the next four weeks is to lose two pounds a week, which would put me right about on target. (It isn't recommended to lose more than 2 pounds a week because if you lose weight more quickly than that it is difficult to keep it off- plus I'm nursing). That would be a total weight loss of 11 pounds and I'd end up at 133 pounds and hopefully have lowered my body fat % (which was in the "very bad" range when I had it tested at the gym). My "clothes goal" is to be in my size 6 Gap jeans and the super cute (thanks honey!) Oregon Ducks t-shirt that Matt just bought me, which is actually from the juniors department. Next week, hopefully I'll be reporting my weight in the 130's! I can't wait to go to the gym today, I really enjoy working out and I feel great while I'm doing it and afterwards. I may start supplementing my gym workouts with a 15 minute home exercise video about three days a week. I'm so excited and motivated that I'm finally doing something to change how my body has been feeling and looking for so long. I'm excited to start feeling healthier and stronger. Yeah Fit Club!

The Starting Line- Monday One

Today's starting weight is: 143.5 pounds. I have an appointment at Curves Gym at 4 o'clock this afternoon to do my "orientation" to learn the equipment and stuff. I'm going to do Weight Watchers starting this morning. I think this first week is going to be the hardest of them all for two reasons- 1: The first week on Weight Watchers is always the hardest because my stomach has to shrink a little bit and get used to the right portion sizes, so I'll be pretty hungry for about five days and 2: Matt is going to be gone for four days this week so I'm going to not only have to stay disciplined in going to the gym every day, I'm also going to have to find childcare so I can do so. It's just one more hurdle to get over though. If I can get through this week and stay strong and keep on plan through this challenging week, I think I'll have no problem for the rest of the month. Size 6 jeans, here I come!

Non-Celebrity Fit Club

The reason for the title is because my wonderful husband purchased a one month gift gym membership for me and I have decided to make the most of it and do my own personal version of Lauren's Fit Club. I want to try to go to the gym and go on a strict diet and see how much weight it is possible for me to lose in one month (and get fit). So I'm starting at 144 pounds right now and I want to try to get to 130 pounds in five weeks. I think I can do it. I'm going to start on Monday and go to the gym at least five days a week and start on (the nursing version of) Weight Watchers and we'll just see. I'm going to try to check in here once a week and post my progress. Yeah!